Growing up, I have had the privilege of studying in institutions of repute which have afforded me the opportunities many women don’t even realize they have a shot at. But, this also meant I was relatively sheltered from the realities of gender inequality, because in highly competitive environments, there is no scope of slowing down or paying attention, the stakes are equally high for everyone. Even at home, my father was home as much as my mother was; my mother worked outside the house as much as my father did. I never heard of or saw the concept of “men sharing the load with women”, because it was always two individuals working to run a home and earn a living together. Further, there was never a question of how much they should “invest in their daughters’ education” or whether it would all be a waste “because daughters get married anyway”. I was groomed as an individual who had to ultimately make my own path.

As I started working, it came as a rude reminder to me – the world wasn’t as equal as I thought it would be. There were roles only for women, because they need someone “soft and friendly” for their clients. There were roles which actively avoided women because “they wouldn’t be able to put in the hours” or “would have family obligations eventually”. None of this was said explicitly.

I never imagined I would live out the famed imposter syndrome myself – I worked harder than most men to prove myself worthy of the same role, I took criticism personally and took longer to recover, I chose my words more carefully so as to not come across as uninformed or “stupid”. All the while thinking my achievements came from sheer luck, waiting to be exposed. The mental dialogue over the years and the constant need to prove myself were exhausting additions.

Over time, what has helped me cut through the clutter is having a strong support system which challenges my diffidence. I believe having the right mentors at the right time plays a pivotal role, professionally. I actively mentor and support women around me, and encourage them not to limit themselves. Speaking up and being assertive is important because changes can be brought about through active dialogue. I consciously try to be aware of thinking traps and biases in my own mind. Ultimately, it is not gender but your expertise and knowledge which make a difference. Lastly, financial independence coupled with an understanding of personal finances is incredibly empowering and perhaps the most important of all.